Thursday, December 29, 2016

What a Santa this year....

Hi Friends I had the best visit from Santa this year.
I got my desktop pc back, boy did I miss it!
But my greatest gift came from an e-mail that
I received on the 25th from a friend that I had not
heard in the past year.  I did not want to disturb
due to some serious problems this person had.
So you can just imagined my joy when I managed
to finally set up my pc and open the e-mails.
I felt like an happy scrooge (since I did not
contact the person for the year) but what a joy....
Now I want to thank all the e-mails I received
with suggestions, ideas, good wishes for my
old friend desktop computer recovery.  I guess
now that we changed a few (50%) of it's components
and put in my windows 10, I should be OK for 
quite a while.
Thanks also to the people who come and read or
just look at what I try to write down just as it
comes out of my head with no retouching. 
Thank you FRIENDS for supporting me and at
times my unorthodox writing.   
BUT THAT'S ME...
THANKS, 
THANKS, 
THANKS.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Like a fool

There is no fool like the old fool.
From the look of my pc (very old)
but well kept, I found that I need
to scrap it.
I taught I was very smart and immune
to the world, but little did I know that
I would become part of the statics
myself,
YES my computer has died of old age
and now I need to runaround in the
madness of the holidays to rebuild my
computer from scratch.
So this is hopefully not the last message
that I will post here, but just in case
let me WISH ALL A:

"Happy Holidays".


Please come back and check in a few days.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Lost generation

I feel most fortunate to have left a few generation
behind me.
A generation where a woman was less than dirt,
at the mercy of their family and later on of their
spouse.  I do understand that poverty, sickness,
mountains of children mouth to feed was a burden
on some people.  Lucky that the generation before
mine decided to leave behind, houses (if we can
call them that), livestock, parents and their beloved
country, not knowing what lay ahead of them.
At one point only men left for the new world,
leaving behind their young families, their young
wives, their aging parents for a piece of bread
less to feed had they stayed.  For sure no social
help was available having just came out of a war,
just or unjust it was a war just the same and many
lost their lives for the love of their nation.  Where
they brainwashed? why kill and fight an enemy
that you have never seen or heard before.  For the
idealist politician, the incredulous youngster or the
religious individual who believed in all kinds of
ideas, at times invented by leaders to amass a
greater fortune for them and their similar, but
surely not for the population who suffered the
consequences of such actions.
I pray (a word almost meaningless at this point)
and hope for anyone who went through that period
not to see it again in their life time, we lost already
too many generations of humans to loose more in
the future..... 

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Do I judge or not...

One of these two gentlemen is my grandfather.
I have never knew his face or his faith.
Why did he marry my grandmother who was
not from the same town and much, but much
younger than him, gave her seven children out
of which only three lived, I'll never know.
I'm not a young girl or woman, I have grown
children who are themselves parents, my own
parents are not in this world anymore and out
of the blues I found this photo, behind was the
name of the man I should have called grandfather,
but I never did, nor did my own father,
or was he knowledgeable about the existence
of this photo. Sure we can't make out the
features but I'm my guts feeling tells me that
it is the stronger and taller man.  He looks
proud and poor, he was an adventurer in his
time, just like some of his grandchildren of
today.  Poor grandmother who could not count
on his support to raise their family.  Why did
you do what you did in your short life.  Oh
yes he was fairly young when he passed away,
from what or how no one would tell me.
I had the right to know about this man, a right
that was to me denied and until I'm on this
earth I will continue to wonder and question
myself, try to remember what little that I was told.
Do I have the right to probe his life, or should I
just let the dead keep their secrets with them in
their graves.  I do not even have that pleasure
to stand in front of a grave and contemplate
his life, since in my country, after 20 years a
person is dead, their remains are taken out of
the grave and disposed off in a commune, that
today after more than 110 years  I would not even
find a death certificate (archives destructed from
an earthquake), my grandmother is gone along
with her 3 children who I'm sure kept their
secret while alive and even now in death.  I will
keep on fantasizing for the man that I love in my
own way......

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Heart of the ocean

The heart of the ocean is laying down
in the depth of the Atlantic ocean
undisturbed for ages.  No one really
remembers what it looks like, is   it big
or is it small.  Does it shine or one could
not differentiate it from the darkness and
the skeletons protecting it.
Who really knows is not here to tell us,
we can look for it, we can fantasize about it,
or is it in a shell well hidden from the
humans eyes.  It is said that he who
touches it will never feel joy from it.
Who had it originally no one knows,
did it made some lady or a greedy man
loose it's mind when it went down in
the darkness of the ocean with more than
a thousand people who taught they were
safe crossing that monster Atlantic.
Oh if only some of those ghosts would
return to us and really tell us that night
events, we can only imagine what it was
like, but he who has not gone through
a similar event will never understand
to be eaten alive by the ocean...
Oh mother why did you give me a pence
to make that crossing for a better life,
why with that ocean liner and not another
one with less pretense.   It was my destiny
just like the destiny of the heart of the
ocean diamond to never make anyone
happy, it preferred to go and rest at the
bottom of a fathomless ocean floor and
never see the light of day again.

NB: photo is replica of a muddy purse
and hat of the 1910 period.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Darkness of the sky

In the darkness of the sky
there's always a bright light.
Use the eyes of your heart and
a shinning light will come out.
It might not be what you
wished to see in the darkness
but as long as you believe in what
you see there always be hope
shining high in the darkness of the
sky.  Do not let fear enter your mind,
but look up at the sky and an answer
will be there for you to see.
Oh I wish I could have directed my
eyes to the sky and search all the
answers there for me to see.
My heart of stone would not look
and today that I closed my eyes
I do not see the sky.  Let me sleep
for a while and then maybe with a
fresh mind and help from the sky
I shall be able to fight back my
demons who blocked my view of the
sky....

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Letter to my nonni.

"Good evening or should I say good day...
Today one second your are
on one continent, the next
moment you are thousands
of miles away..."
Why do I write this. I came
across an old photo that I did
not know I possessed of a
great grandmother that I remember
like a faded dream & this photo is
so faded that I can barely see her.
She was not very tall or very slim
but she was not too heavy either.
This lady was my doctor, my nurse,
she was my mentor and guardian,
she would rock me to sleep and
always had an apple, a chestnut or
a piece of bread for me.  Did I cry
or was it her tears that ran over my
face when I left the village hidden in
the mountains to come to this land
of snow and ice, that too I can't
remember, but now that I know what
she looked like after to years that I did
not see her (she died at the ripe age of
94) in the early 1960'. 
Nonni hope that you will forgive me
for not remembering your features but
I was only a small child and now that I
am a grandmother I try to follow in your
footsteps with my own granddaughters...

shhhhhh. just listen