White tears

What am I doing sitting on this hard chair

behind a stupid screen instead of drying 

the cold and harsh tears streaming down

my old ravaged face from the tears that 

I let go 52 years ago on the 4th day after

my wedding night to a monster who did

well in hiding is upbriging, is sickness,

his week spirit and conditions that were

instilled in him from the day he saw the

daylight.  

Stupid me for not having rebelled, for not

having told anyone (not even my parents)

in what a web of deception I walked in.

No one had the guts to tell me what they

knew, no one had the decency of being

honest, THEY WERE ALL HIPOCRITS.

Who put their heads in the sand and just

hoped for the best - for him and not for me.

Is a revenge at this stage - worth it,

but then I have 3 gorgeous children and

2 granddaughters, I look at them and my

rage melts down.