Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Call for help

I'm silently sitting here wandering why I do not feel
sorry for myself or anyone else in this world.
My mind is just floating around and around to no
avail in finding a place where I could certainly
go and do something worthwhile.
Do I hear little hammers in my head?
how can anyone live day in day out with such a
noise, is inconceivable to me.
Is there a way to stop that drumming without
playing around with one's sanity.
I read about it,
I listen about it.
I argue about it.
I run away from it.
Until I stop and it reaches me again,
almost mad at me for running away from it.
This is well hidden to the eyes of the world,
no one really believes me when I act strange
or stop acting altogether.
Society is a funny group of animals ready to
pounce on you if you are not like them.
I have an ordinary life on certain days and
atrocious days when I can't manage my brain.
I found solace in a tiny bird who settled
his nest right under my window, every day
I look at his struggles for survival against
predators like squirrels, bigger birds, the
lonely wandering cat, the dog that keeps
running and then backs away, and all this is
for his offspring who can't even fly yet.
He's very courageous in protecting his
environment and is always on guard even
against me who keep spying on his everyday
life. So know I learned that if I want to stop
the drumming, I have to stand up and stop
the drummer from beating those drums -
that drummer is ME and only me can come
out of it and with the help of the next bird family
that will come and live in the empty nest at
the bottom of my window.

NB: I tried to put myself in the head of a person
who might or might not admit that they have
a mental condition, so if this can help in anyway
I'm happy for the person, plus just ask for help.   


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shhhhhh. just listen